Feeling invisible is something that we are all way too familiar with. You know the feeling of being let out. The feeling of being ignored. The feeling of being ostracised. The feeling of being invisible. The professionals have so many ways that they call it ranging from; “Identity Crisis”, “Lack of Identity”, “Borderline Personality Disorder“ you name it.
I don’t know about you but I know I have had to deal with this for quite some time. There are times where it’s almost negligible, like if you don’t put much attention to it then you wouldn’t even realise it’s existence and then there are those times that despite your efforts, it just persist. In those times I have had to really find myself, sit ‘me’ down and ask ‘me’ some tough questions.
You see you would only have these feelings when you care what the other party; thinks about you, what they see you as, what they want from you. You only have these feelings when you want their opinions and approvals and thoughts about who you are, what you are doing, when you are doing it, why you are doing it and so on. It is no wonder that the professionals term it as “Lack of Identity”.
But you know, sometimes, it’s not all bad. Sometimes it is not about you not having your own Identity or Personality or Self. No! I am not talking about that here. At least not today. I am talking about when you clearly have it together (or at least you think so) and out of nowhere just “boom💥” there you are feeling invisible like the clic took you out, the family left you out, the job no longer values you, the colleagues don’t wait on you anymore, the world is running without you. Yes in those times, getting back up is the toughest.
GIVE YOURSELF SOME SPACE
It is very crucial to “let off steam”. The more you stay in that place, that situation, or with that person, the more you feed into that feeling. The moment you get away and distance yourself from the “cause“, you allow yourself time you understand why you were feeling invisible in the first place. You help yourself to digest when it all started.
There are times that by simply excusing myself, I came across things that belittled those feelings by far. I came across things that brought me so much joy and happiness that I even forgot what even brought me there and I went back rejuvenated. It is not all the time that you stay and fight, sometimes you leave the fight, target a different angle, re-strategise and then come back to the fight.
REMIND YOURSELF OF OTHER TIMES
Have you ever met someone that the moment you start complaining about how something seem to not go your way they immediately tell you about how everything is not going in favour for someone else too. Yeah. I have a few of those. And to be frank sometimes I just want to shout and tell them “well I don’t know that someone and that someone is not me”.
However no matter how we feel about it, it doesn’t deny the truth though. So instead of feeding into your new found invisibility powers, how about you remind yourself of those times when you were visible, those times when you didn’t feel so ignored, those times when you didn’t feel so ostracised, those times when you weren’t left out. There is nothing wrong with a little self boost from time to time. So remind yourself of those moments when you felt on top of the world (feeling invisible) and get back in the game.
GET YOURSELF SOMETHING DOING
Ever heard of the devil finds work for the idle hand or the idle hands are the devil’s workshop. Whatever version you heard or know, the truth remains that if you ain’t doing nothing, you are most likely to get involved in whatever.
Why would you feel left out when you hardly find time to hang out with friends?
How would you feel ostracised when you barely realise when people get around you?
When will you have time to feel devalued by your job when you are busy upgrading yourself, when you are finding new ways to make customers patronise your services more, when you are busy enriching yourself as a person.
People come and people go. Jobs fail. Life sucks (😁you didn’t hear it from me😁).But you and what you have in you is what really remains. So when next you have enough time to yourself so much that you begin to notice the little tiny gritties of your surrounding, rather than engulfing yourself in self pity, pick up a trade, a hobby, an interest and beef up yourself to the person you are meant to be.
START A JOURNALING HABIT AND WRITE IT OUT
I don’t know how best to stress on this. Writing have in so many decades proved it worth in dealing with emotional instability and stressors. And I know how sometimes it feels corny and cringey to put your thoughts on paper but I vouch on this that no one will grasp your feelings more than your pen.
I can’t begin to tell you how many times I started out writing and getting mid-way and realising that I don’t remember exactly what I was feeling. Write the craziness until you can’t write no more and you will soon realise that not only can you not write no more, you won’t feel no more either.
Related: You are losing out.
I refuse to not see life as cupcakes and rainbows 😁😁😁.
Thank you for reading.
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