2021!!!!! Is that an endearment. It’s not. Really! Okay. So yeah 2021; the year of fruitfulness from almost all the watch nights and new year ushering services I watched. And I know January is half way through and you probably have your check list or resolutions out already but hear me out for this one okay. Just hear me out.
What is Endearment?
It is a word or phrase used to address or describe a person, animal or inanimate object for which the speaker feels love or affection. It is the words you say to them whom you want to feel like they hold a special place in your life. They basically are ‘sweet nothing’ that you would say and this warm fuzzy feeling encapsulate the receiver. It is not always attached with a warm fuzzy feeling so don’t go expecting that all the time.
And so now we are going to delve into the discussion for this topic. Who do you say these to? How do you say it? When do you say it? With what intentions do you say? And finally what reactions do you get from saying it (be it the receiver or the people in the background). As an African, I grew up barely seeing this in the society where I found myself but I had someone (my mother) say it to me all the time so I went about saying it to basically anyone. I would ‘dear’ and ‘sweetheart’ anyone because in my mind it was no big deal. But apparently it was a big deal.
I remember a funny incident that happened back in high school. It was due for visitation (I was in the boarding facility) and no family of mine could come but I had received a parcel with a letter. But thing is when you received such a combo, it was usually from a partner and curiosity got hold of all my roommates since I had never had a partner come visit me before and so they opened the letter (yes they took it from me) and read it out loud.
The letter opened with, ‘Hey baby’ and they lost it thinking they had finally unnerved something but I knew who the letter was from so I was enjoying their reaction waiting patiently for them to reach the end and find out who it was. Then came the ending, ‘I love you, Your mother’. And boy will I never forget the confused expressions and looks of betrayal they had on for the rest of my life.
Are they to be blamed though? No. The misconception of endearment being said privately to our spouses, lovers or partners is to be blamed. The awkward stares and glance that you get from others after uttering such to someone they perceive you shouldn’t say such to is to be blamed. The assumptions people will have about your character and your intentions is to be blamed.
It is not cheating if you call a friend ‘dear’ even when you are in a relationship. Parents your children will not disrespect you; your role and impact will not reduce if you tell your children you love them or that they look good. There is nothing wrong in addressing a colleagues who you think just saved you ‘angel’.
This new year, add to your resolutions or check list to consciously practice saying those beautiful endearment you know you want to say to your family, your friends, your loved ones, your colleagues because it really is not a big deal but it goes a long way to make them special and trust me that alone is enough.
You might also like; 2020!! Come and be going.
I refuse to not see life as cupcakes and rainbows 😁😁😁.
Thank you for reading.
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